if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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