So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
