IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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