lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
