What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
