So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
