2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
