did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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