I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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