do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
