dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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