Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
