If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
