areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
