Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
A+ Viking dick
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
