Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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