The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I want a musical about memes.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
