what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
