is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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