i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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