Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
