I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
