ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
