i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
