508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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