Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
