Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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