My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
