I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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