i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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