I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
