I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
