I think i peed on brittanys purse
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
