i don't like sucking hair
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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