A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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