i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
