do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
