when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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