I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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