I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
