you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We need to get me chipped asap
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
