Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize