tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
