Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
