Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
