Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
