Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
