Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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