were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
