Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
