doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
