So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
