mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize