if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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