drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize