...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
