Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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