somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
