lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
