i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize