She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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