So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
