how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
