great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i need some magic done to my vagina
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
