You made me cry and you don't even care
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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